LµÇkÿ $†àŘ

For once, I’ll take it. Then, twice, I’ll still take it (although I really, really wanna smash you guys face.) Come third times, I’ll walk off.  Well, that’s what I think I will do if it happens again. ‘Coz I think enough means enough. Tolerance has its limit. Things are not funny being repeated and repeat again.

Moreover you guys are my best buddies and it’s kinda heartache to be put on a spot, especially when acted in group. I feel like some sort of betrayal. Forgive me saying so but it’s just my feeling at that moment, I keep in my heart. Maybe I’m not being sporting, some might say… but to me, is not a matter of being sporting or not.

It’s just a personal value. And I often believe one has a choice to do something or not to despite of whatever persuasion, forces or thinking that come along the way. If the stand is strong nobody can sway it.       

Take drinking for example. Why do friends want to see their friends drink and get drunk? And why do the friends need to compel to drink? Is able to drink one round after another is a cool gesture, being perceived sporting or is a way to be accepted among the peers? Tell me.  

Whether a good drinker or not, why would one wants to make public his own strength or weakness? People will still get you to drink regardless yes or no. And if you refuse to drink, people make fun teasing you, again and again. What’s the point here? 

There’s this uncle in the family, which many of the cousins don’t quite like to mingle during their young age. ‘Coz uncle like to lecture for good whenever we gather. And nowadays, being the youngest girl among the cousins, I’m the common victim. He often says, “Sip like a lady. Don’t drink!” “I saw you drinking before, and that’s not the way a girl should drink!” Really, his sentence gets me into thinking when had he saw me in action before? Was it during one of the family occasions? Or he was coincidently there when I was hanging out? I really have no idea, and I just listen to his very same speeches as a respect to the elderly.    

In fact, which parents like their children active in drinking. I know my parents, they don’t and discourage. It’s not that we can’t drink but we got to know our limits and responsibility. Especially being a daughter, more concern they are. If one day I came home drunk, I wonder what will happen. Disappointed faces and talks, and because trust is broken, it takes harder time to regain for myself and for the friends I hold closely in heart.

Whatever it is, all I wanted to express is that I sincerely treasure our friendships, which I hope we can keep going for many decades more in life. Maybe I’m just being emo here, which I am at times.  It’s just not funny anymore, PLEASE STOP. Period.

If I knew what tomorrow lottery winning is, I would have become a rich man.

If I knew tomorrow is the end of the world, I would have enjoyed every moment now.

If I knew accounting, I would have excelled in it then.

But who knows what tomorrow brings.

So lost in the way.

Am I supposed to be a follower?

Since I don’t know what the things ahead.

And therefore I was born and am known as ‘Questions Girl’ to many.

To some, too many questions are not the way to go.

Coz to them, asking questions seems no risk-taker.

Doing everything according to plan.

Boring.

But whose knows.

When you asked, you got yourself better prepared.

You can preempt and reduced obstacles ahead.

You can at least have contingency if things didn’t turn out in the first place.

Is not a matter of which side you belongs to more.

Is about doing the right thing and doing things right.

To be one of flexible in appropriate situation.

So lost, all.

How am I suppose to move when nobody know anything?

Who am I to follow when there’s different opinion?

As I look out for solution and bring it to the table,

Will there be appreciated and show of gratitude?

Even if the matter is beyond my expertise, I seek to help out.

Just to make sure everything is in order and we can all move ahead smoothly.

Praise not, belittlement is the price paid out.

It seems to me a little unfair.

Of all the effort, credits zero.

But people with bigger mouth and voice, with a show of disrespect to the seniority, and keep repeating don’t know how to proceed, don’t have this and that; seems to be all-time winner.

And the deepest cut of all, being at fault not having an oversea degree and jargon to the world of accounts.  

Like said, if I knew designing, I won’t be in my current field.

Like wise, if you knew marketing, you’ll be doing well at it.

Life is a never-ending learning process.

Is not a matter of how far have you studied.

It’s more of a matter how far you have come to learn along the way.

And now, I’m even determined to learning more…….

Yessss, go for it!!!

Another year has come.

Wonder why have it been like this in recent years.

Whenever it’s soon approaching, the period before it often is unpleasant.

Have I been thinking too much?

As if an alarm clock is pre-set to alert especially during this phase.

Why the day comes with ‘happy’?

And family and friends shower with greetings on that day.

It works this way, I think.

It’s a new day in life, each year around.

So, the new washes the old.

A new year will bring goodness, washing away the ugly ones.

And it’s to therefore celebrate.

Be remembered once again to live life happily and fulfilling.

Time to rejoice, happy…….

A lil’ Tuesday blues (yea, not on a Monday) in the evening hearing what-I-think-is-an-insensitive-remark from him. Between the lines, I got you. Haha… in my mind, I’m asking what do you know about. As much as I wanted to retaliate, I hold it to myself…. “If only you could give me more.” Oh my dear! You have just stepped on my tail at a wrong timing. PMS activated.

Later, went for Mamma Mia, a very nicely done musical movie with all greatest hits from Abba (Recommended watch!!) ‘coz the world suddenly becomes so peaceful and joyful. Getting a lil’ booster, not for long though. Came out, is all Abba in my mind…. jumble up and here’s what it’s all about on this entry:

So, I want to detach ‘n fly ~ Mamma Mia, here I go again…

“Chiquitita, tell me what’s wrong
You’re enchained by your own sorrow
In your eyes there is no hope for tomorrow
How I hate to see you like this
There is no way you can deny it
I can see that you’re oh so sad, so quiet”

“How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they’re leaving
You’ll be dancing once again and the pain will end

But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you
Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita”

Where are those happy days, they seem so hard to find

I wish I understood
It used to be so nice, it used to be so good

So when you’re near me, darling can’t you hear me
S. O. S.

Though I try how can I carry on?

How can I even try to go on?

I was sick and tired of everything

Oh yeah, and I have met my destiny in quite a similar way
The history book on the shelf
Is always repeating itself

Oh yeah, and now it seems my only hope is giving up the fight
And how could I ever refuse
I feel like I win when I lose

I don’t wanna talk
About the things we’ve gone through
Though it’s hurting me
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play

The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
The game is on again

I can’t conceal it, don’t you see, can’t you feel it?
I do, I do, I do, I do, I do

In my dreams I have a plan

Aha-ahaaa
All the things I could do
If I had a little money

Take it now or leave it

Ain’t no big decision
You know what to do
La question c’est voulez-vous 

You know what I mean

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything

I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile

When I know the time is right for me
I’ll cross the stream - I have a dream

Alright, alright… enough of messing around the lyrics. Phew, better mood now after some singing. Hmm, will be best if to let down my hair and do the number around the weekend:

Looking out for the place to go
Where they play the right music, getting in the swing

Night is young and the music’s high
With a bit of rock music, everything is fine
“You’re in the mood for a dance
And when you get the chance…

You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the Dancing Queen”

3 women, in their late 20s or early 30s were dining in a steak house. One of them sighed, “Where has all the good man goes?” At a glance, they look presentable, independent working ladies. Wondering if there’s any thing wrong on earth, why is the population of good men is becoming lesser in numbers? Excludes those that already belongs to others, why are there many good ones turn homo? And what is there to spare on?

Lots of questions filled the air, one by one.

Will any of them consider a divorced man for a relationship? Well, if there’s a choice, obviously not. Even said so, this kind of thing is hard to predict. Because love is blind, and when you deeply in love with someone, you will take in the whole package. You wouldn’t know your standing, not until that day enters your life when you finally have to decide.

Then, can you accept being the second wife? Of course there’s no such thing as second wife in Malaysia monogamy practice, except for Malays. So, specifically, a mistress it is. Well, if you asked me, I always try to opt out from this kind of triangle relations ‘coz it’s meaningless. But, it’s totally bizarre input when I heard one of the lass said she doesn’t mind, as long it’s on contractual basis, 1 year for max. Wow! Not so bad idea afterall, leisure and shopping freedom with financial relief from the man. 

Will you consider other races? Mixed replies; one accepts only their skin colour. One thinks it’s not an issue after experiencing herself with different cultures. Then the other one remains silent, unsure. To what extend?   

Does age matter then? No one likes someone younger in general. However, like said, love is blind. There are happy couples where the hubby is younger than the wife, and they can still live blissfully together. On the other hand, what’s the max age of the opposite sex that you’ll still consider? 6 to 7 years still Ok. What if, 10 years or more? Tough,… but if he’s someone who holds high position in a corporation or someone who’s own boss, chances still alive. Maybe some will think this is so materialistic-minded, but putting yourself into these woman shoes, you’ll see the underlying needs that woman needs security, assurance and stability from their partners.

What if the man is 10 years older, successful businessman but then is balding? What’s the likelihood then? Shocked, everyone kept silent. None dare to think further. It’s totally understandable. Who doesn’t want a partner that they can proudly bring on to public? Looks of course is important. Not to demand a 100% handsome looking one, but somehow it does matters.

Hmm, “why we are still single?” The question popped up again.

It’s not that there are no single friends around, then why not give a try getting together? “What?!! Come on, friend is friend, no crossing border” in a very serious expression I saw on this lady face. “Why don’t you try then?” she adds on. Interesting, I thought. Well, if there’s no feeling or the cliché so-called ‘chemistry’, how can it work? It’s just not your cup of tea. Life always makes fun on people. Those you like seem harder to get closer with, and those that you dislike but like you keep showing up in front of you. Isn’t it annoying? Haha.

So what is their problem? Are these woman has becoming choosy in picking up their partner of life? Make me wonder too. I try to explore and then I see the horizon and I come to realise. Because time is running out, they need to get the right one this time around. Theirs ultimate is to have found someone best fit walking down the aisle together one day and living happily ever after. Deep down, all woman asks for is the joy of sharing, embrace in tenderness and care, feeling love and beloved without worrying about future, spending many good laughter times with her dearly spouse together for the rest of her life .

So to these 3 little women (and others of similar fate out there), I wish upon the star that it will soon bring you luck in meeting your prince charming!! Lets the love blossoms

2006, May……. I blogged about 9 months of pregnancy for my second child. 2 years and 3 months later, it happened again. I got my third one now.

This one came out very fast, but of course it’s always not easy to handle a newborn. Giving fullest TLC to my baby precious, just like every mama will do to their little ones.

Home sweet home my bluebie boy!! Successfully delivered 29th July. d(^_^)b

Be good, be my proud boy ok!! Muaaaks.

Time passes so fast, and it has been 3 months plus since the fixture. Just got the wire changed on Saturday, to somehow thicker one now. And scaling, ouchh. Doctor is letting me alone again for another 12 weeks before next action, whether to extract or not.

Surprisingly there isn’t much pain after the visit. Just a slight numb after few hours, and back to normal the next day. Initially I thought it’s gonna be very painful as Chris related that it’s hellya of pain that she can hardly eat and slept the whole day. Hmm, maybe her progress  better and thus more advance treatment. Anyhow, I’m kinda relief that I don’t need to drink porridge this time around. But will still go for the mashed potato date as promised, after her checkup coming Saturday.

Getting very used to braces now, although at times having some pronounciation or speech problem. Koyak. Food wise, eating as regular except food that is very hard. Been eating lots of sushi & jap food lately, also crabs… both also my favourites. Yum yum, and been having durian feast as main meal 3 times this week with family and relatives. So durianlicious!!

As time goes by, a lot has been broken. “Rules are made for the obedient of fools, but the guidance for wise.” I already drank coffee, only when I have a craze for it. Just needs more gargling, that’s all, ha. Brushing?? Err some times circumstances not allowed. Just makan then gargle more n frequent, drink plenty of water to wash off lah. Other times, I’ll try not to miss brushing. Afterall, it’s for own goodness. 

Closed ones have been supporting and considerate on makan places that I can edible. Anyhow, they also tease around ~ ‘oi leng, erm oi meang’. But, it’s not really that painful as everyone been saying, or maybe thanks to today’s technology, pain is reduced. Or they’d say, putting on braces will draw the guys away? Betul ke? But it’s only for just 2-3 years and then it’s forever beauty. Maybe 2 3 years time is already a killing in numbers. Then, come their most curiosity to findout what smooching is like with braces on? Hahaha…but that’s for me to know, not for you to findout…….muahahahaaa

Good nite lahhh

Back from trip, nothing aspiring happen.

A gal friend recently blog, inspired from the chat we had over dinner weeks ago. Being single, actively seeking for love from opposite sex. And so I told her, if it happens, it will happen eventually my dear… just waiting for the right time.  Worry less, and as long as you are living happily now, it’s okay. Reacted in full sentiment, my viewpoint to her is so, so, so wrong. She reasoned that in order to living happily, it’s even essential to look for a guy and fall in love with…. at least knowing that there’s someone to look forward, waiting at home and be pampered after a stressful workday. Sounds right too, ‘coz if were to wait for it to happen… nobody knows when is it going to happen or worst, won’t come at all.

So, a little confuse here; to expect or not to?

Having expectation is good. But the more you expect, the higher disappointment if things didn’t work your way.  It’s hurtful and very demoralizing. As if you admire someone, trying to get close to him/her, catching their attention as much as possible, hoping that one day they will realise and open their door of heart for you. Of course a celebration when this takes place, we can open up champagne and cheers around. For unfortunate, thing didn’t turn out the way you want it to be, the world turns gloomy, wordless.

~~~~~~~

So much so have been expected from you, you gave your word for the change saying you will give more. I’ve been counting the days since then, and I contentedly looking forward to be back even when I was away, can’t wait to unwrap life sweetness. Guess you didn’t know I’m a person who hated broken promises so much in life. And now you are giving me excuses unable for the change, with more sweet talks? You have let me down, totally! Though I’m not sure if the other woman receives better treatment, but I try not to think much ‘coz I know eventually I’ll get hurt thinking she has more of your affection this time around. I hope not, through all the years, thick and thin being by your side. I wonder if you know that I was disappointedly sick the other day as I was already drained, and when you break the news I felt even weaker, leaving no energy to boost up immune and so I had let go myself.

~~~~~~~

See, it’s nothing new. It’s better not to expect……. I’ve learnt a long time ago. Like I’ve once blogged, life deserves a move on if things turn dull. Walk out, on the lookout for a better one…….to be with someone who knows and appreciates more of you. My heart has already gone wild, waiting for the right occasion, if it’s meant to happen……. it’s surely happening!!    

……. but then again, I’m expecting a new baby now. Err, if it’s positive… does that meant I have to stick and stay on?? Hmm, life’s tough at some points.    

Yay!! The long awaited extremes before three zero had finally been accomplished. Following the 8D ‘Yuk Sin Yuk Sei Lui Hang Tuen (YSYSLHT)’ off to Kota Kinabalu for twooo extreme adventures at one go, it was a very fun and tiring trip all over.  Instead of calling it YSYSLHT, I rather name it ‘Chap Sang Chap Sei LHT’ as there is lots of packing to do, especially during the first half of the trip or maybe ‘Hang San Hang Sei LHT’ for its lengthy and dying walk up to Mount Kinabalu.

Climbing up to the highest mountain in SEA (4095.2m) is no easy task. One needs to be very fit (advisable) to survive the whole journey. Since we took Mersilau trail, our average time is about 9-10 hours to reach Laban Rata. I’m sloweee as snail, but I think the porters can make it up mid-way by just half of our duration or even faster. It’s quite scenery view along Mersilau, but the con is that it’s few KM more than the boring environs Timpohon trail. Journey began at 8:22am with few breaks in between to power up. Weather is nice but then it rain when approaching another KM to Laban Rata, so got to put on raincoat. So happy to reach the resthouse at 1845, weather was cold. Had dinner, rest awhile and then check-in to our bunk beds room to rest and trying to sleep by 9pm. Hardly a soundly sleep.

12am the alarm came in, and everyone took turns to wash up and get ready ‘coz we are the first group to start the summit trail at 1:30am. Call us Kiasu, but at least can avoid the jam later. Although we started early, but some latecomers managed to overtook us to the peak…. since we already quite drained up. I must confessed, it’s not easy to walk up in the middle of the night in weather less than 10 degree Celsius, so cold and so tired condition, still yet to recover from the long hours walk earlier. I’m really, really feeling sleepy after 1km walk, and can’t imagine there’s 1.7km more to Low’s peak. Luckily, thanks to our guide, Hamiri who kept pushing me to make it to the peak…. and since my shoe grips weren’t good enough; I tagged with him on the way up. We walked on more edgy and hazardous rocks instead the normal way. It’s too dark to notice the surrounding anyway. But one thing I like about is when I look up the sky, there are plenty stars above and across the horizon… and somehow I feel so bonded, being one myself. It’s no wonder why friends have been calling for me, always… just like they say I’m the Lucky one up there shining the best for them when they need it regardless where they are. Now, I know.

So, I reached the peak at 6am. The sun has rose 200m before I reached. Nevertheless, it was mesmerizing to see the beauty of it. The sea of cloud especially… loves it! Not forgetting the surrounding landscape… they are all awesome!! Going down, I’m more energized. Fast paced, afterall the sun exposure is high up there; you wouldn’t want to get sunburn. Walked with Hamiri for some shortcuts, and do some abs-sailing, dicey. Stop by wishing pond and made a wish or two. 8.5km is the place, the same place where James brought up the ring and proposed to ar lui. It’s a memorable moment for all of us up there, to both of them especially. Congrats!!

Left Laban Rata around 12 noon, and it rained non-stop until the end of the trail. The path was slippery, where steps became waterfall-like and muddy. Not easy, feeling as though the journey is never-ending. Tired and in sleepy mode again. Reaching Timpohon gate 5 plus in the evening, and guess what uttered from my mouth? “I’m so sleepy”…… the exact same phrase that first came out when I reached the peak this morning. Thinking back, a little funny embarrassing it is, ‘coz both are recorded in video.  But everything is OK now… quite an achievement holding the Cert having climbed up to Low’s Peak on 27.6.08. Ask if I’ll be going again? Err…eh… I need to think twice.

Recovering muscles aches from the strenuous climb, 3 days later we embarked on another crazy adventure. It’s the White Water Rafting at Padas (Level 3 & 4) – the best one in Malaysia. Can’t believe we are so extreme and did it!! Believe me; it wasn’t easy either to tuck your legs onto the boat for grip when all of us are having legs pain. And the worst part is to keep paddling on high rapids to prevent our boat capsize.  It’s damn tiring paddle and paddle. Well, at least it’s more balance to have hands muscle ache complement with the leg sufferings at the end of the day. Torturous fun…

Altogether there were 7 or 8 rapids that need steady manoeuvre. The first few warm ups was thrilling for many beginner in us. So scary that all of us panic and simply rows the boat without sync. Screaming wasn’t less of course. Some of us slipped from our seats and quickly get back to position and action. But after awhile, we get used to the rafting and couldn’t be bother anymore… just row if there’s still energy hehe…  Luckily our boat didn’t capsize nor do any of us fall into the water during the rapid. But smash the guides at my back who tricked, pulled me and Jenny into the brownish muddy water. Damn…. Overall, the rafting is really a fantastic experience and as I looked at our rafting video that we bought for RM125, pheww!… Didn’t realise we are on such a huge wavy ride ‘coz when we are on the boat, there’s really nothing felt…. seriously. Hahaha…..

Some YSYSLHT memento:  http://gongjiao.blogs.friendster.com/photos/adventurous_kk_/index.html

P/s: Oh! If you going KK, remember to stop by Bun Shop No.10 at Lintas for its ichiban delicious ‘luncheon meat bun’… best in KK, KL and Malaysia. Also recommended for its polo bun, char siew bun, etc. Their buns are so soft even after overnight. Hmm, mouth-watering just thinking about the yummy tasty bun, missing ‘em now…. *yumyum* Best served with the famous Tenom coffee!! Incredible duo =D

Close to 5 o’clock, news travel and friends started MSN alerting the fuel hike to RM2.70 per litre. A lot was cursing around and some still thinking is a hoax, afterall today’s paper headline mentioned of higher fuel price by August even with subsidy. So, these people expected there won’t be hike for time being; at least not until then. Unfortunately, the fact came true on NST online, followed by news on the TV box. More smses received after that.

As calculated, a current full tank of RM60 will cost extra RM20 after midnight. So now everyone is making way to petrol stations to save their wallets even if it is just for one-time-saving. Still, nothing new to Malaysian being neighbour to Singapore, the kiasuness affect. Massive jams and queues at all stations, causing traffic jam everywhere and just right in front office main road heading towards Shell.

For me, is just a lucky day… very lucky one today! Getting parking easily right in front office in the morning and again in evening after back from appointments. If you don’t know, parking space is a scarce commodity here in Bandar Tasik Selatan. But I feel the luckiest peak is I don’t need to rush to the nearest station to get a pump. I had got it done this morning, suppose to be yesterday night but because too frenzy hunting for the right fit socks for kampong adidas shoe…was homed late.

Actually, after reading yesterday paper, in between the lines gave me a strong sense that the hike will probably taking place today after their meeting (and that’s why I have my pumping plan…haha). Moreover, the statement is from someone who is now often regarded as not credible in his words after few happenings lately. People have been deceived before and hence wiser they should be and have cautious measure on how reliable the-whom-you-know-who-I-am-talking-about-is. What else is left in our once loving country? What else to hope and look forward?

RM2.70, an increase of 78 cents per litre. RM20 although not a huge sum… but one can use it for lots of good. In the long run, it’s definitely a pain in the pocket for many meager earners, everything is increasing. And again, I can’t help saying ‘money is not important, but everything is money’ haihhz……

“So, boss ah boss, when wanna naik our harga ah?” The gals just asked… hhmm.