Going lucky and still.
Down, down, down… that was the ride for the past week n days. Very down that everything done seems went wrong, down-time feeling at most. So many factors, more or less the same shits again, happening at different days of life. The atomic accumulation is humongous and has taken all over me; my mind, my soul, my blood, my brain, my body. Wanted to put a stop to this as the suicidal meter is at rise and is continue rising. Still, I’m glad to have friends’ comfort and motivation to hold on along the days. Thanks for being my listeners and my punching pillow as I threw em’ up. It does help… at least it get me back on track, keep focus and move on.
I knew I’ve tried very hard to practice what I’ve been told. But somehow, grief is still within me. So misery and so devastated in conjunction with the period of the moon. What the “F”! And in this dying-state-of-mind, the only way out is to let go. Yes, letting go… play the images, relax with enchanting music, confession and let the destruction occupy the very last moment of the night before bidding the world farewell.
Lucky enough, to wake up the next morning, I’m still breathing, of course. As if reincarnated, everything is back to normal. Lighter, cheery and more focus doing what I’m always good at. Thank you fairy mother who has taken all my sorrow away and bring me strength to move on, for she heard my voice and punished those who had hurt me so deep. Maybe, I should see it in another ray of light… whatever bad things happened to me, not necessary to jump into conclusion so fast ‘coz there is others who are more misfortunate than me.
