LµÇkÿ $†àŘ

I got my very first child when I was young at the age of 21 or 22. Well, as a single parent, I’ve no problems to raise him at all. With savings from Hiestand, I didn’t need any financial support from my family. In fact, they have been very encouraged of me in the first place. As a matter of fact, I think I’m the first among the peers to have a small kid on my own. Well, life goes on….

Frankly, I have spent a lot of times with him. I try to take good care of his being, his cleanliness, and dressings and I even given him a personality of its own. Sometimes, I drive him crazy, and almost got him into mishap, not once but many times. But each time is so blessing, and I really thankful to God for protecting us both from getting hurt. Although there was one time, heavy rain, the reckless lorry driver came close and knocked him. I was so scared at that moment…but then relieved when I knew no severe injury. Just some physical scars on the body. Once again, I felt grateful. Unfortunately, compare to many others around, my baby is so prone to wound his arms and legs. Just don’t understand why… and because of this, I’ve become so conscious and overprotective on him, everyday.

Then, last August, when he knew I’m getting another child soon… he started to misbehave. Upset me with many tricks of his, I suppose he’s ‘kecil hati’ and showing his hatred. Meanwhile, I do still care for him. Just that I felt nausea at times, and encountered many hiccups, both from my current baby and the-soon-new-born. Not forgetting pressures from family.

Time goes by; days by days, months by months waiting anxiously for the new arrival. Soon, times flew…9 months and came the due date to welcome new member into the family. Last Thursday. So happy, and yet so worry that once again I need to handle with care. Fragile. When something new begins, something old ends. Although not always the case, but this is what happened here. I’ve sent my first child away, and I was sad to know that it almost losses his life on the day I surrender him, yesterday. Sob and frustrated, but am helpless to commit more. Now that I have my new baby to play with… just as every mother who had given birth will go through, I’m now under confinement, a month, or two for max ~ Driving like a tortoise who have just gotten its “P”, everything need to be handle with care and meticulous. No more the speedy F1 SLK, but trying to be a responsible one instead. Hahahahahaha……what were you thinking about, in the first place? Gotcha =P