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Enter the 5^th anniversary, 6 years and 2 months if were to include the times we spent before the ½ year split. I’m happy and thankful being together again then.

All along, you have been here for me. Somehow, you have made me a better person, a better life today. The things you have done, with all the encouragement, supports and gestures that you’ve showered me with, you are really a star and I’m lucky to found you. I love being with you and everyone is like a family at home.

Passion & desires used to be strong. There are still now, lesser. Getting older, my heart no longer as energetic as before. Sometimes, I felt falling behind and feel unfair to you. Sorry for I have not been good at keeping it up. I guess this is norm after being in a long relationship. It reaches plateau.

Confused. I wanted to walk away yet am worry. You have been nice. My parents love you too. Knowing the old generation, they stand up for loyalty. They concern if I can get another one as good as you, which is true. One part of me wanted to stay, hoping that things will turn out great again later. Another part says no. There could be better trees in the forest waiting to be discovered. Aahhh, the angel Vs devil battle. Crossroad, thinking, thinking… been thinking, again thinking, and still thinking. Hahahaha…. which path to choose. I’m afraid if I’m wrong again. I might not be that luckier of you accepting me again. There are pros, there are cons. And everything comes with a risk. Am I ready for that change? Am I ready to the risk?

I don’t want to think and I don’t want to think about it now. Give some times to chill, few more months perhaps to see how things unfold.  Hope things will work out by early 2008 for us.  Bring back the charms; hold me back & spice up my life once again before it’s late when I say “I do, decided to walk away from you.”

When it’s good, everything comes good and smooth. When it’s bad, bad things follow one after another.

Feelings. When it’s happy, everything shines, like a beautiful rainbow. When it’s not, everything seems cloudy, rain or storm awaits.

Relationship, same applies. They said if ever someone treats you not well or is giving you hard times, try don’t get bother so much. They said these people are just passers-by in life. They come into your life for temporary, only for short period. And thus, you have no reason to be upset and live miserable.

Remembering they are just passing by is a very strong concept that helps cultivate a happy and healthier life of you.

But, what if they are not ordinary passers-by? Can one remain to be ignorant? And if every now and then they cause chaos, can you believe in the idealism still? You meet them almost everyday. Let’s just forgive and forget. Can???……. It’s easier say than done.

Last Thursday, something happened & I have no answer why it happened. As usual, I stayed back. So used to it. Since it’s the puasa month, everyone leave home early. I guessed I’m the only person left inside the building. It’s still early for me, slightly after 8.

All of sudden I heard ‘beep’ sound, and I look ahead and saw the wall-hung aircond in front switched on. I’m shocked, creepy and felt chilled. What triggered the aircond when there’s only me on the floor. Looked at my remote control, facing the opposite… no way it can trigger the other unit few meters away.

I felt not comfortable. A little bit chicken feeling. Brave myself, infuse with a little anger, I slammed everything aloud, my drawer, my table…cum a little shouting here and there. Silly actions, come to think of it. But I just wanted to remain calm. Inside myself jokingly thinking, somebody want me to leave the premise ‘coz it’s his/her/their world now since everyone already homed except me. They need to start the party. Funny isn’t it? I told my friend over MSN during then before I bid farewell and left not long after the incident.

Later and the next morning, I confirmed and reconfirmed for the remote of that particular aircond is keep inside a drawer and no timer entry for auto-on. As such, no one can figure out how then the aircon can turn on by itself? I didn’t spread it around. Yet, I wonder if there is any aircond engineer or technician out there able to give me a satisfactory explanation on this. I’m still puzzled.

Or is there actually someone playing a prank on me? Today, one of toy miniature display spot has been changed. Only realized it after lunch. Someone prank on me ke while I went for lunch? But then again,… who lifted up my chairpad 2 weeks ago when I got into work on Monday morning? It was only 9.30+ then, still early. Hmmmm… interesting. I don’t wanna think much; although I believe myself sometimes have the tendency to anticipate things.

I’m leaving now. Yes, early today. For safety purposes. Afterall is no longer safe nowadays to stay out here alone anymore. May god bless me, and the force be with me and that the lucky star keeps shining down on me every single moment. Thanks.